Stories from The Back Porch

My name is Anita and I am the Coordinator at The Back Porch in Edmonton. I started as Coordinator with ALIES & The Back Porch in April of 2021. When I first started training to speak to moms, I had many preconceived notions about moms seeking abortion. For starters I assumed, as I think many do, that women and men who choose abortion are often poor and in financial need. I also assumed that we would have a higher demographic of Indigenous women seeking abortion. However, I soon learned from our Executive Director, Gabrielle, that these assumptions were incorrect. Turns out everyone is affected by abortion.

The number one reason that we hear of why women choose abortion is inconvenience. With my two and a half years of experience speaking to moms at The Back Porch I can say that this is the most common response: it’s “not the right time” for a baby or the pregnancy was “unplanned”.

For example, one mom I spoke to told me that her and her boyfriend were financially stable, had a house together and wanted to start a family. However, she wanted to go through with abortion because she was finishing school and wanted to wait till after her degree to start a family. She said maybe in a few months they would be ready for a baby, but not right now.

When I started with The Back Porch, I also believed that abortion was not an issue for those who were religious. I have realized in speaking with moms that fear is a powerful motivator that often pushes people to lie to themselves or to shield themselves from the truth.

For example, a Catholic woman came to us seeking an abortion due to infidelity. She was a strong Catholic and knew that abortion was a sin. Despite our best efforts she still went through with the abortion, hoping it would preserve her marriage.

Facing situations like these can be really difficult, especially when women still choose abortion against what they know to be true. It is even worse if you expect that logic is enough to change their minds. As you might have guessed, I struggled with this expectation, which caused me to often think I was failing God in ALIES’ mission to save babies from abortion. I would vacillate between anger at myself and anger at God, because I didn’t understand the true nature of this job.

God began to show me that my job is more about sowing seeds. In this job and in the prolife movement we are swimming upstream against a culture of death. Most clients who come to The Back Porch already have an abortion appointment booked when they walk through our door, meaning we have about 30 seconds to try to engage them in conversation. Therefore, it is quite unrealistic to expect that we would change minds about abortion in one visit or call. Especially when a woman is already in an emotionally charged situation, with her mind made up.

I have come to the realization that most of my job is making people seriously think about the abortion procedure and its risks and challenging them on the reasons of why they feel abortion is necessary. The least we’re able to do is provide a kind and judgement-free environment, and provide resources for healing after the procedure.

For example, one client came in to receive recovery information for his girlfriend who was getting an abortion. He wanted to know how to care for her after the procedure. I sat down with him and went through the procedure and emotional risks. He admitted that they were both feeling the negative emotions of the abortion. His girlfriend had had a previous abortion and was already feeling sad before this procedure. He thought that it was irresponsible to have a child when they were not financially stable. I showed him the resources for parenting that were available if they ever found themselves in this situation again and gave him our number. He then asked me about “the crazy prolife people we get around here” and I was able to discuss the prolife movement him. In the end, he came to a better understanding of the prolife movement and was not as opposed to it as he was before. I ended up meeting his girlfriend and was able to talk with her about abortion recovery resources. They thanked me for speaking with them, and for letting them stay and chat as they waited for their taxi.

This encounter was an opportunity to share God’s love and truth without trying to shame this couple for having had an abortion. Through our conversation, he was able to receive life affirming information and a new perspective on the prolife movement. As is evident in these examples, God wants us to meet abortion minded women and men where they are at and to walk with them. We must care for the mother and father before we can begin to save the baby. These small opportunities to show God’s love can do great things in softening hearts.